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Distance Learning Defined
The Definitive Explanation
Distance learning is a term which encompasses all learning that takes place at locations remote from the point of instruction. It is an option for beginning studies or continuation of study off-campus in locations...
Educational toys to make both parents and
children happy this holiday season
(NC)—Choosing the right toy for your child will give her the opportunity to think, practice a particular skill or learn something new, as well as engage her in hours of play. To strike a balance between learning and fun, parents should look for...
Is Education Tax Deductible?
Families with children already in college may qualify for tax deductions for educational expenses. The maximum Hope credit is available for the first two years of undergraduate school. It allows for $1500 of credit. The credit is based upon the...
Scholarships For Single Mothers
Are you a single mother in debt trying to make your way through school hoping to attain a better education so you can support your family? If so you should consider applying for a scholarship. What is a scholarship? A scholarship is a grant of...
The Identity Theft Epidemic : What The “Experts” Aren’t Telling You
Picture yourself walking down the street, all alone. It's late at night. It's a bit brisk, and the wind is blowing through the tall buildings on both sides of you. Suddenly, from out of nowhere, someone runs by you, knocks you over, grabs your...
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Schreiber, Johansson Build A 'Bridge' To A Classic
Liev Schreiber and Scarlett Johansson are starring in a widely praised revival of Arthur Miller's <em>A View From The Bridge</em>. They tell reporter Jeff Lunden that as in all great tragedies, this one's clashes and catastrophes have something of the inevitable about them.
Stargazing At The Opera
The Hayden Planetarium in New York takes opera to the moon with a new production of <em>Il Mondo Della Luna.</em> Diane Paulus and Philip Bussmann talk about merging cosmos footage with music, how science can enhance the arts and the future of technology and theater.
Obama 'The Musical' Opens In Germany
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Understanding the Three Levels of Obedience for a Three-Year-Old
Understanding the Three Levels of Obedience for a Three-Year-Old
Sometimes when I am working on the computer, I feel like a three-year-old. At least, I think I feel like a three-year-old. I try to do some function that I haven't done in a while, and I look at the computer screen wondering how I did it. When I am utterly confused, I'll phone one of my daughters and ask, "How do I…?" Fortunately for me, they always laugh and say, "Oh, Momma!"
What does this have to do with a three-year old? A three-year-old is having new experiences, learning new skills and working on self-mastery of those skills, just like I do on the computer. Some days they can do something on their own, and other days they need assistance. This is because learning occurs in three stages, as follows:
At the first stage, we can do an activity with assistance.
At the second stage, we can do an activity when we are asked to do it.
At the third stage, we can do the activity independently and are fully aware of when it needs to be done.
In the example of my computer skills, trying to learn how to double-line format was a challenge. The first time, I had to be shown the series of steps. First stage. Then I could do it when someone reminded me of the steps. Second stage. I am proud to report that I can now do it with no assistance and no reminders. Third stage, or independence.
As we learn new skills, we go back and forth between stages one and two. What leads us to independence is repeating the activity with additional instruction. This independence allows us to obey a command or request.
Obey. We tend to think that it means, "to carry out a command without question." The word obey comes from the Latin oboediere, meaning "to listen or to hear." To obey, we listen and then make a choice to follow the command. If we hear a command from someone we trust, we will usually choose to carry out the command, if we know how to do it and have no conflicting information. We can also follow a command out of fear. To the casual observer it might appear in both instances that the command has been followed without question.
For the participants in an activity, command giver/command follower, teacher/student or parent/child, the dynamics of fear and trust create a relationship. To build a relationship based on trust, it is critical to understand the skills necessary to accomplish a command.
Most three-year-olds have a strong desire to please the adults in their lives and are willing to do what we ask. What children lack are the experience and the skill. We can look at their ability to obey or level of obedience in this way:
First Level: will | no experience | no skill
Second Level: will | experience | no skill
Third Level: will | experience | skill
In a trusting relationship, the child is eager to learn new activities. Remembering all the steps in an activity is difficult, and children need to be shown many times. Because they are keen to learn, children are always watching others, which is a reason to be a good example.
To master a skill, children need to repeat an activity perhaps hundreds of times. Children need the opportunity to do activities uninterrupted with the freedom to make mistakes without being corrected during the activity. The exception to this is when there is immediate danger to the child or
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property. Observing a child's "mistakes" and "messes" gives us a clue of what needs to be retaught. Also, being interrupted or not being allowed to finish an activity can be the cause of frustration that may be expressed as a temper tantrum.
So we teach and re-teach as the child moves between levels one and two, and then one beautiful day, the child is working at the third level of obedience.
Let's take an example of making a bed. At the first level, the child is shown how to make a bed. The child shows willingness by trying to make the bed the next morning. The bedspread is hanging too low on one side and there are lumps. Being friendly with error, the adult simply states, "You made the bed by yourself."
The next day the child forgets to make the bed. The adult gives another demonstration, wordlessly looking at both sides of the spread to make sure they are even. The next day the child makes the bed. The fourth day the child forgets to make the bed. The adult reminds the child, and the child goes cheerfully to make the bed. If the child protests, the adult simply smiles and says "Let's do it together," knowing that the child may have forgotten how to do it.
After a few days the child can make the bed with just a verbal reminder. At some point, weeks, months or years, the child will reach the third level and make the bed perfectly without any reminders. (Parents of teenagers are allowed to roll their eyes if still waiting on this third level of obedience.)
All of us learn faster and better in a trusting relationship. Trust is developed by offering assistance in a clear, concise and kind manner. The adult doesn't ask the child to do something that is too difficult or belittle the child for not being able to do it. The adult remembers that it takes many reteachings to get to the second level of obedience and much practice to arrive at the third level.
The adult needs to observe the child's will, skill and experience levels before asking them to do something. We can offer assistance to the child, keeping in mind "any unnecessary help is a hindrance."
For the three- to six-year-old, these levels of skill, experience and obedience are changing daily. As adults, we need to remain "friendly with error" as the child's experience and memory propel them to the third level of obedience, an obedience built on a relationship of trust and mutual respect.
Kids Talk is a column dealing with early childhood development issues written by Maren Stark Schmidt. Mrs. Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Masters of Education from Loyola College in Maryland.
She has over 20 years experience working with young children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale.
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About the Author
Maren Schmidt is Creative Director for a video-based reading series for children ages three to six, The Shining Light Reading Series. Visit http://www.shininglightreading.com for more information. Sign up for FREE here:
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